Hushed Instinct
The idea of being away from this comfortable place is horribly frightening and terrifying really; but also sort of nice. I’m excited to start a completely new life somewhere. I know I will most definitely hate it, and feel as though it must be actually hell I am living in.. but I am also relying on that phase passing.
Looking at schools is overwhelming, but after some time it feels so nice to think that I could eat as much as I want and not be given an evil eye for not eating enough, or being able to run wherever. I also plan, if not with the college, to take dance lessons of some sort. I’m excited!
when I know they judge me I become terrified. But when I’m sent on a mission.. ( not like James Dean, but) like when I’m working and supposed to be this outgoing person who is going to take photos of your child, I can become a completely different person. I become happy, and I make jokes with the children, and make them feel comfortable, and the parents love me! Or when I teach children, and there is no one around to look down on me . And it feels great! Sometimes all it takes is a wild amount of caffeine and I can smile and laugh in anybody’s direction. But there was also a time when I didn’t even need all that caffeine! I did this short skit for the class, and I was so nervous at first, but something happens and you become completely comfortable with your character. I just have to find what works,that something that made be relax in front of all those people while pretending to be someone else, that’s all!
Say Anything. Automatic Love Letter. the color mint. S.A.T practices. Tigers. Make it or break it. Smash. Jelly on whole wheat toast. Exercising- abs. Parks and recreation. Regina Spektor. Hunger games.
Funny funny,
we laugh and tease.
Im laughing so hard,
I’m on my knees.
She chuckled and laughed,
she even sat in a seat
She stopped then looked
at you and me
You know what happens next,
she pointed and laughed
but the smile was fake
and a tear fell from each laugh
She shivered and fell
and told her last speech
“It’s funny, because
you just don’t know me.”
We watched her go,
we saw her leave.
The next morning then,
we saw her photo on t.v.
A girl dead and a quote,
a report and her speech.
Written on a note,
“I don’t know me”.
